Yesterday, like a smack to the jaw [which I have actually experienced a few times before] – whilst I was shirtless, admiring my own beauty in the mirror and working my way through the lengthy and slightly obsessive process of cleaning my teeth, tongue and mouth – a new thought exploded inside of my head!
For a while now, I had been feeling overly disconnected to the words accompanying the tattoo, on the top of my right shoulder blade. The words are ALWAYS WAITING and were borrowed from a line in a Gaslight Anthem song; which continues with “for something to happen.”
At the time I got this tattoo done; one day before my 23rd birthday, by a Melbourne-based artist named Bugsy – I was living in a way which often involved lazing around in passive boredom, with unrealistic expectations that an opportunity may jump out of thin air and continual thoughts of what I had to look forward to, in order to sustain my happiness. So – the meaning behind these words was perfect for me!
I approach life slightly differently now and try to make the most of what is actually happening each day. And as such, the meaning of these words had become horribly irrelevant to me – until yesterday.
Now, there’s probably little debate that the word ALWAYS is usually going to have a similar meaning, which stands for something that is ongoing, ceaseless, never ending or constant. So, there’s no change in meaning to this word.
However, the way in which I suddenly started thinking about the meaning of the word WAITING yesterday, has changed.
Visualise a lion resting patiently, hiding behind the still tall blades of grass, hoping an unsuspecting victim might casually wander into his line of sight – he waits for a short time, but nothing happens. Well, the opportunistic lion isn’t going to let the lack of roaming animals ruin his day, so he goes out looking for a meal – at one point anxiously waiting and ready and in the next moment, taking action when required.
So this sounds lame and probably over the top stupid, but I kind of see myself as the lion and the victim as an idea, new opportunity or adventure. If something doesn’t come to me – I’ll find it.
I now hear the words ALWAYS WAITING being voiced actively, rather than passively.
I didn’t decide to tell this tale because I thought it might be cool to talk about the reason I got a particular tattoo. The people getting tattooed on Miami Ink provide stories which are much more dramatic than mine.
Instead, I wanted to share a story about how I realised yesterday that new life has been blown into something which seemed stagnant, outdated and impossibly meaningless in my life. Without physically changing at all, a “problem” as unwavering as a tattoo, somehow seems to have solved itself. And, I tell this story because I am intrigued by the occurrence of this mental change.